Life taught me the hard way to pair authenticity with great partners.

Hold onto your childlike authenticity in a world that increasingly demands you trade it for diplomacy.

A casual selfie taken in an early morning in a mall in HKG, quiet and calm when all shops were still closed. I was feeling ‘me’ in the moment.

“Mummy, you were so pretty, why you look so ugly now?”

Ouch! So raw but so cute!

Little 4-year-old, pointing at her parents’ wedding photo, threw this question like a curveball to her mum. Innocent. Direct. Unfiltered. I burst out laughing, literally laughing till I teared. 😂

Amidst the laughter and tears I sensed my envy of her. I envied her for being able to ask exactly what was on her mind. No filter, no hesitation. She didn’t need ‘courage’ - it wasn’t even a concept to her. She simply spoke her truth.

Fast forward 20, 30, or even 40 years, I wonder if anyone would still think that she is ‘cute’ asking the same question as a 24? 34? 44?

Or would she be labelled as rude? Disrespectful? At best, honest, but brutally honest?

Or would she have learned to bite her tongue, to swallow her view than to utter a word?

Would she have been trained by the weight of social norms to censor her authenticity?
Authenticity has always been the strongest value in my life. Unfortunately I didn’t have a coach to be my sounding board when I was young. I clung to my raw authenticity fiercely, learned the hard way, and often found myself misunderstood.

But I had only wanted to be real. Never intended to be offensive.

𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐈𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭. And great partners do not alter the DNA in you. Only to bring out the best.

Now I live by this refined truth:

*𝑰 𝑨𝒎 𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝑰 𝑨𝒎 - 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚.*

𝑰𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕, 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔. 𝑰 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒗𝒖𝒍𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚. 𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 2 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍.

I owe many an apology for expressing my authenticity in a way that was less than mature when I was younger, and I’m eternally grateful to those who have embraced me as I am.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

When was the last time you showed up as your authentic self, without hiding behind pleasantries or what’s ‘acceptable’?

How do you hold onto your childlike authenticity in a world that increasingly demands you trade it for diplomacy?